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Retirement Jokes

Here the Senility Prayer: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference

***

The company threw a retirement party for the boss. A farewell card was passed around and everyone wrote down their best wishes, from the bottom of their hearts. "Without you, the company will never be the same." When the card got to Maddie she wrote, "The best news in 20 years."

***

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: "Slim, I'm 87 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

I feel just like a newborn baby.

Really!?

Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my
pants.
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