Skip to main content

Soap Opera Spoilers

General Hospital Spoilers

Young and the Restless Spoilers - Y&R

Days Of Our Lives Spoilers

Rosie Jokes

For the holiday season it's Rosie O'Donnell v. Donald Trump. *Update* And for 2007!

HEY everyone now knows that Rosie O'Donnell likes to promote herself by making biting jokes about others. In 2006 she tried racial Asian jokes, homophobia outing Clay Aiken, and Miss USA – Donald Trump.

But one thing that's crystal clear to anyone bothering to listen to her: as they say on the elementary school playground, she can dish it out, but can't take it.

So how about a few stupid Rosie jokes to lighten things up a bit? After all turnabout is fair play!

We'll do it without resorting to any fat or gender jokes, which we don't like ... today.

Here's one from Rosie herself, paraphrased:

Am I scared Donald Trump will sue me for libel?
No he can't pay his lawyer because he'll be bankrupt.


Q-What did Donald Trump say to Rosie?
A- Nothing, he didn’t care.

Q – What did Clay Aiken say to Rosie after she outed him?
A – I’ll out you back …. Oh, you’re out all ready.

Q – What did Rosie say when Donald Trump’s friend made a pass at her girlfriend?
A – You’re not her type.

UPDATE: Apparently Rosie steamed all through Christmas and afterwards posted a missive on her blog calling real estate magnate Donald Trump a "pimp". Whew ... she is self-destructing. Never fear however, she has given the Internet more fodder for Rosie Jokes, so here's an update of more bad Rosie jokes:

Q - What did Rosie do for Christmas?
A - Stew
Q - I know she ate, but what did she do?
A - Stew

Why does Rosie keep commenting on Donald Trump's comb-over hairdo?
She can't think of anything else to say but has to say something.

Is Rosie jealous of Miss USA? Maybe she wants Donald to be her pimp.

In Rosie's mind would Donald Trump be a hero not pimp to fire Miss USA instead of giving her a second chance? YES, then maybe she could fill the opening.

What does Donald think about that? Nothing he hasn't given it a thought.


Did you see Trump on Letterman? He was hilarious. Made a whole slew of Rosie jokes.

Donald, what did you do over new years?
I pretty much went on TV and bashed Rosie O'Donnell.


What did Rosie say when she got back from her ski vacation?... WaaaaaaaaaaaaWaaaaaaaWaWa he insulted me WaaaaaaaWaaaaaaaa Babwa save me.

1/10/07 UPDATE:

Donald Trump's new season of The Apprentice premiered on ABC last Sunday, January 7. Today Rosie gleefully hollered, "His show tanked!" Now it has been revealed that actually Trump's show was the number #1 watched show in the 10:30-11 p.m. time slot. Hardly tanking. Someone is lying about "tanking" and it's not us!

So this is a humor blog, where's the joke? you might ask. Today we'll dish parody and satire, so there, and like all the Rosie jokes, baaad parody, delving into the inner workings of her mind:

Q - What did Rosie say when confronted with her statement that Trump tanked?
A - Not tanked, thanked.

Q - What do you mean by "thanked"?
A - Everyone should be thanking me for boosting his ratings?

Q - Huh? You're not on the Apprentice, you're fired.
A - No no no I'm the one keeping his show in the's boosting my ratings and I'm boosting his?

Q - So even though you are not on the show, you are claiming full credit for Trump's high ratings?
A - Right?

Q - Why did Barbara Walters high five you and apparently incorrectly say Trump is a liar.
Rosie - I made her do it ... and in return, I'll teach her how to get good ratings. Look at how well my outing Clay Aiken boosted my ratings. It's not who you hurt, just the muck you stir up.

Q - You don't think there's anything immoral about that?
A - Oink oink snort snort.

Q - How did Babwa do today stirring up the muck Yoda-Rosie?
A - Kind of clumsy, but stick with me honey and you can do it too.



Popular posts from this blog

Halloween Jokes II

Halloween Jokes II Thinking of the season, here's some more Halloween Jokes. Before we know it, Halloween will be around the corner, it is time for the annual Just Jokes and Humor Blog Halloween Jokes and humor update. You can find more Halloween Jokes by following the link . Here are some pumpkin jokes, ghost jokes, ghoul jokes, witch jokes, skeleton jokes and Dracula jokes to lighten up the season... What do birds sing on Halloween? Twick or Tweet. Why were there no leftovers after the monster party? Because everyone was goblin! Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers. What is the first thing ghosts do when they get in the car? Boo-kle their sheet belts. What did the ghost buy for his haunted house? Home moaner's insurance. What was the favorite game at the ghost's birthday party? Hide and shriek! What do ghosts serve for desert? Ice Scream What was the witch's favorite subject in school? Spell-ing. Why do witches fly on brooms? Vacuum

Y2k Jokes

Turn the clock back and let's party like it's 1999. An old Y2K Joke: Dear Boss: Mi hope I haven’t misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, that Y to K dates problem doesn't make any sense at all to me. Well by now I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk. In addition to that, I've changed the days of the week, so now they are ready for the year 2000 and will be: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak. Is it enough, or should I change any other Y to K? I am a fan of the New York Yankees. Should I call them New Kork Kankees in order to be Y2K ready?

Real Estate Jokes

Q: What is a maintenance-free house.... A: There hasn't been any maintenance in the last 10 years. The home buyer thinking of the real estate agent: I didn't think anybody could have that many teeth without being a shark. Q: When is a one-story house a two-story house? A: You get one story before you buy and the second story after. This house is 5 minutes from shopping ... if you have an airplane. News and stories behind the humor in the Real Estate Jokes page at The home buyer told the real estate agent that he lived in the same big house for the last 10 years. When the real estate agent checked his credit, she found out he still would be there today without the pardon from the Governor. Q: How close was the house for sale to water? A: In the basement. By the time you pay off a house in the suburbs, it isn't. Q: What is a house-warming party? A: The final call for those who haven't sent a wedding present. Your home feels like a c