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New Years Jokes

What are some New Year’s resolutions that won’t work?

  • Lose 30 pounds
  • Don’t watch TV
  • Don’t surf the Internet at work
  • Stay focused
  • Jump off a cliff

What are some New Year’s resolutions that will work?

  • Gain 30 pounds
  • Watch TV
  • Surf the Internet at work
  • Don’t stay focused
  • Don't Jump off a cliff

Will Rosie O'Donnell wish Donald Trump a happy new year?
No, No, No, she doesn't like him...

Will Donald Trump wish Rosie O'Donnell a happy new year?
First, he'd never run into her; Second, if he did, sure he doesn't care.

What did Santa do for New Years?
Watch Football

What did Rudolph do for New Years?
Turn his nose red.

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