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Showing posts from January, 2007

Soap Opera Spoilers


General Hospital Spoilers

Young and the Restless Spoilers - Y&R

Days Of Our Lives Spoilers

Retirement Jokes

Here the Senility Prayer: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference

***

The company threw a retirement party for the boss. A farewell card was passed around and everyone wrote down their best wishes, from the bottom of their hearts. "Without you, the company will never be the same." When the card got to Maddie she wrote, "The best news in 20 years."

***

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: "Slim, I'm 87 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

I feel just like a newborn baby.

Really!?

Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my
pants.

More Rosie O'Donnell Jokes

Sheesh just when we thought we got rid of her, she's baaaaaaaaaack. We're all so surprised ... not. Well now after getting her sour PR stunts shoved back by Trump, now Rosie went looking for a softer target - Paula Abdul and American Idol. Now we're not great AI fans, but hey, Rosie gave us fodder for more bad Rosie jokes. More Rosie jokes in our earlier post.

Hey Paula Abdul, what do you think of Rosie's comments?
What did you say?

What did you think of Rosie's blast on you?
I was trying to be polite, she's irrelevant.

But Rosie doesn't like your American Idol show.
Nobody cares, her's is going down fast.


What did Donald Trump think?
She's looking for a softer target.

Is any one surprised Rosie is muck raking again?
Not really. She is promoting ABC to knock down their competition The Apprentice and American Idol.


Updated Now Rosie has a new target: Oprah. Yippeee.

So, Rosie reportedly has made degrading jokes on Paula Abdul, Donald Trump, Oprah, Chinese, Ame…

Valentine's Jokes and Humor

Before we know it Valentine's Day will be here again on February 14. In honor of Valentine's day here are some Valentine jokes and other jokes about relationships, not just for Valentine's Day.

xoxoxoxoxo


It is amazing how punctuation can change a meaning. Here is a phrase, and look how the meaning changes:

"woman without her man is nothing"

From one perspective: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

From another perspective: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

xoxoxoxoxo


To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot, and not try to understand her at all. :)

xoxoxoxoxo

A girl walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on hundreds of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

Her curiosity getting the better…

Rabbit Jokes

Amazing but true.

Q - What two animals eat their own poop?

A - Come-on nobody does that.

Q - Wrong. Rabbits and guinea pigs.

Here is the serious science behind it:

Out in the wild rabbits and guinea pigs (if there ever really were wild guinea pigs!) go hunting for grasses as their favorite foods. Ok, not really hunting, but can you imagine a rabbit with a gun? Hunting grass?

But unlike big grazers like cows these tiny critters cannot have 100 foot intestines. So what do you do if you can't really digest your favorite food? Well... you poop it out and eat it again, and voila, you've doubled the length of your digestive track. I bet you never thought you'd learn science in the Just Jokes and Humor blog!

Ok, hold your nose and let's dig a little bit deeper. They don't eat any poop that comes in front of their cute noses. Instead they eat the "cecotropes" , which are special poop pellets high in vitamin B digestive bacteria.

Knock-Knock Jokes

A quick one that my child tried on me this morning:



Knock Knock
Who's There?
Hey Hey
Hey Hey Who?
Hey Hey, what do you want to do today?