Listitude - Crack Me Up Funny

Valentine's Jokes and Humor

Before we know it Valentine's Day will be here again on February 14. In honor of Valentine's day here are some Valentine jokes and other jokes about relationships, not just for Valentine's Day.


It is amazing how punctuation can change a meaning. Here is a phrase, and look how the meaning changes:

"woman without her man is nothing"

From one perspective: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

From another perspective: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."


To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot, and not try to understand her at all. :)


A girl walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on hundreds of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

Her curiosity getting the better of her and she asks the man what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" she asks.

"It's business development...I'm a divorce lawyer."


If all men are the same, why does it take a woman so long to pick one?


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