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Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes! - The ghost, the witch and the watchmaker.

What's scary about a watchmaker? Nothing ... dah dumm ... dumm ... dumm

The air is getting chillier, the pumpkins are appearing, Halloween ghosts and goblins are coming out from hiding in the garage … and I’m collecting Halloween Jokes from the short jokes to the stupid jokes to the great Halloween jokes. In honor of the boooooooootiful season, here are some Halloween jokes and Halloween humor, and if you have a joke to add, send it to me or put it in the comments and I’ll add it to the list!

Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.

Q: How do you mend a broken Halloween Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.


Halloween knock-knock joke…
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Boo who?
That’s all right ... don’t cry.

Q: Where do ghosts mail their Halloween greetings?
A: At the ghost office.

Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash for Halloween?
A: She wanted a clean sweep.

News and stories behind the humor in the Halloween Jokes page at

Q: What do you do when 20 zombies surround your house?
A: Wish them happy Halloween and give them candy.

Q: How does the witch know if it’s time to go trick or treating on Halloween?
A: She looks at her witch watch.

Q. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boos.

Q: What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving

Q: Why didn't the vampire get invited to the Halloween party?
A: She was a pain in the neck.

Q: What does a baby witch want for Halloween?
A: A haunted doll house.

Q: What do you call ghosts who haunt skyscrapers?
A: High spirits...

Q: Who speaks at the ghost’s press conference?
A: The spooksperson.

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the Halloween prom?
A: His ghoul friend

Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
A: Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

Halloween Jokes Funny Pumpkin
More scary-licious Halloween Jokes, please

Q: What did the first ghost say to the second ghost?
A: Do you believe in people?

Q. What is a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park?
A: The roller ghoster.

Q: What's vampire fast food?
A: Someone with high blood pressure.

Q: What do witches put on their hair to hold it in place?
A: Scare spray.

Q: Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
A: Because you see right through them …

Q: What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
A: Dead ends.

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spell-ing

Q: What is a ghost's favorite bird?
A: A scare crow.

Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs.

Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich.

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Lake Erie.

Halloween Jokes at Jokes and Humor Blog

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Halloween Jokes II

Halloween Jokes II

Thinking of the season, here's some more Halloween Jokes. Before we know it, Halloween will be around the corner, it is time for the annual Just Jokes and Humor Blog Halloween Jokes and humor update. You can find more Halloween Jokes by following the link. Here are some pumpkin jokes, ghost jokes, ghoul jokes, witch jokes, skeleton jokes and Dracula jokes to lighten up the season...

What do birds sing on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet.

Why were there no leftovers after the monster party?
Because everyone was goblin!

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.

What is the first thing ghosts do when they get in the car?
Boo-kle their sheet belts.

What did the ghost buy for his haunted house?
Home moaner's insurance.

What was the favorite game at the ghost's birthday party?
Hide and shriek!

What do ghosts serve for desert?
Ice Scream

What was the witch's favorite subject in school?

Why do witches fly on brooms?
Vacuum cleaner cords are not long enoug…

Real Estate Jokes

Q: What is a maintenance-free house....
A: There hasn't been any maintenance in the last 10 years.

The home buyer thinking of the real estate agent: I didn't think anybody could have that many teeth without being a shark.

Q: When is a one-story house a two-story house?
A: You get one story before you buy and the second story after.

This house is 5 minutes from shopping ... if you have an airplane.

News and stories behind the humor in the Real Estate Jokes page at
The home buyer told the real estate agent that he lived in the same big house for the last 10 years. When the real estate agent checked his credit, she found out he still would be there today without the pardon from the Governor.

Q: How close was the house for sale to water?
A: In the basement.

By the time you pay off a house in the suburbs, it isn't.

Q: What is a house-warming party?
A: The final call for those who haven't sent a wedding present.

Your home feels like a castle... when you pay …

Birthday Jokes

On your birthday every year, you get one year older. For some they stop at 29, others at 21. Here are some birthday jokes and humor to lighten up the special day.

What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
Their birthdays all fall on holidays.

Q - What type of cake is used for birthday cake in heaven?
A - Angel food cake.

Q - Did you hear about the maple tree's birthday?
A - It was a sappy one!

News and stories behind the humor in the Birthday Jokes page at
You know you're growing old when by the time you've lit the last candle on the birthday cake, the first one has burned out.

Q - When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A - They both get sliced.

Q - What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for her birthday?
A - I don't know, but you better hope she likes it!

You know that you are getting old when you remember when the fire department comes to your birthday party in case the candles on the birthday cake g…