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Rosie Jokes

For the holiday season it's Rosie O'Donnell v. Donald Trump. *Update* And for 2007!


HEY everyone now knows that Rosie O'Donnell likes to promote herself by making biting jokes about others. In 2006 she tried racial Asian jokes, homophobia outing Clay Aiken, and Miss USA – Donald Trump.

But one thing that's crystal clear to anyone bothering to listen to her: as they say on the elementary school playground, she can dish it out, but can't take it.

So how about a few stupid Rosie jokes to lighten things up a bit? After all turnabout is fair play!

We'll do it without resorting to any fat or gender jokes, which we don't like ... today.

Here's one from Rosie herself, paraphrased:

Am I scared Donald Trump will sue me for libel?
No he can't pay his lawyer because he'll be bankrupt.

Huh?


Q-What did Donald Trump say to Rosie?
A- Nothing, he didn’t care.

Q – What did Clay Aiken say to Rosie after she outed him?
A – I’ll out you back …. Oh, you’re out all ready.

Q – What did Rosie say when Donald Trump’s friend made a pass at her girlfriend?
A – You’re not her type.

UPDATE: Apparently Rosie steamed all through Christmas and afterwards posted a missive on her blog calling real estate magnate Donald Trump a "pimp". Whew ... she is self-destructing. Never fear however, she has given the Internet more fodder for Rosie Jokes, so here's an update of more bad Rosie jokes:

Q - What did Rosie do for Christmas?
A - Stew
Q - I know she ate, but what did she do?
A - Stew

Why does Rosie keep commenting on Donald Trump's comb-over hairdo?
She can't think of anything else to say but has to say something.

Is Rosie jealous of Miss USA? Maybe she wants Donald to be her pimp.

In Rosie's mind would Donald Trump be a hero not pimp to fire Miss USA instead of giving her a second chance? YES, then maybe she could fill the opening.

What does Donald think about that? Nothing he hasn't given it a thought.

ANOTHER UPDATE:

Did you see Trump on Letterman? He was hilarious. Made a whole slew of Rosie jokes.

Donald, what did you do over new years?
I pretty much went on TV and bashed Rosie O'Donnell.

MORE UPDATE:

What did Rosie say when she got back from her ski vacation?... WaaaaaaaaaaaaWaaaaaaaWaWa he insulted me WaaaaaaaWaaaaaaaa Babwa save me.

1/10/07 UPDATE:

Donald Trump's new season of The Apprentice premiered on ABC last Sunday, January 7. Today Rosie gleefully hollered, "His show tanked!" Now it has been revealed that actually Trump's show was the number #1 watched show in the 10:30-11 p.m. time slot. Hardly tanking. Someone is lying about "tanking" and it's not us!

So this is a humor blog, where's the joke? you might ask. Today we'll dish parody and satire, so there, and like all the Rosie jokes, baaad parody, delving into the inner workings of her mind:

Q - What did Rosie say when confronted with her statement that Trump tanked?
A - Not tanked, thanked.

Q - What do you mean by "thanked"?
A - Everyone should be thanking me for boosting his ratings?

Q - Huh? You're not on the Apprentice, you're fired.
A - No no no I'm the one keeping his show in the news...it's boosting my ratings and I'm boosting his?

Q - So even though you are not on the show, you are claiming full credit for Trump's high ratings?
A - Right?

Q - Why did Barbara Walters high five you and apparently incorrectly say Trump is a liar.
Rosie - I made her do it ... and in return, I'll teach her how to get good ratings. Look at how well my outing Clay Aiken boosted my ratings. It's not who you hurt, just the muck you stir up.

Q - You don't think there's anything immoral about that?
A - Oink oink snort snort.

Q - How did Babwa do today stirring up the muck Yoda-Rosie?
A - Kind of clumsy, but stick with me honey and you can do it too.

Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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