Listitude - Crack Me Up Funny

Birthday Jokes

On your birthday every year, you get one year older. For some they stop at 29, others at 21. Here are some birthday jokes and humor to lighten up the special day.

What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
Their birthdays all fall on holidays.

Q - What type of cake is used for birthday cake in heaven?
A - Angel food cake.

Q - Did you hear about the maple tree's birthday?
A - It was a sappy one!

News and stories behind the humor in the Birthday Jokes page at

You know you're growing old when by the time you've lit the last candle on the birthday cake, the first one has burned out.

Q - When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A - They both get sliced.

Q - What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for her birthday?
A - I don't know, but you better hope she likes it!

You know that you are getting old when you remember when the fire department comes to your birthday party in case the candles on the birthday cake get out of hand.

When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.

Q - What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?
A - "Hi, Buster."

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said that I needed an upgrade.

Q - Why do you put the candles on top the birthday cake?
A - It's too hard to put the candles on the bottom.

Q - What birthday party games do rabbits like to play?
A - Musical Hares.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Here is a cute and funny humor birthday video from Grey Advertising via YouTube:

Mark Twain on his 70th birthday:

It's a long stretch between that first birthday speech and this one. That was my cradle-song, and this is my swan-song, I suppose. I am used to swan-songs; I have sung them several times.

Remember, growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional!


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